don't know what to title this. any ideas or suggestions?

don't you love those moments when you see something cool, then stop and go, "Wait, what?"It's been more than 2 months since I left Pensacola, and while things haven't worked out as I thought they would, I have to admit, I can't complain about where I am. Don't misunderstand. There've been moments when I questioned my sanity. I mean, who leaves their job with no idea of the future, especially in an economy like this, simply because they feel it's what God wants them to do? True, there were a lot of circumstances at play, but they all served to confirm that I needed to leave Pensacola, that I shouldn't stay there any longer. Now, I can't explain that. I was happy serving at my former church, I loved the people of the church and working with them was a constant blessing in my life. As God moved (sometimes in very odd ways) to show me that I could no longer stay in Pensacola if I were to find happiness in serving Him - since staying when I shouldn't would have caused me to stray from God's path for me -- I never thought that this far out I'd still be unemployed, still looking for a job. But that's where I am right now, and, as I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Why? Because I've lost my mind, because things were terrible in Pensacola and I needed to run away, because God just wanted to mess with me for no reason? NO! In leaving, I've found peace and joy and fulfillment I'd been missing in my life while I was struggling with following God's leading in my life. Here are a couple of lessons I've learned so far.

1. I have the desire in my heart for greatness, but greatness doesn't come from having the right job, doing the right programs, being in the right place at the right time, or from any of the things that the world would say we need to have to be successful. Greatness comes from God, from His presence in our lives. 2 Chron. 1 states that Solomon was a great and powerful king. Not because of his wisdom or wealth, but because God was with him and God made him great as he followed God. Greatness, success, or any other similar term have nothing to do with what we do or how well we do them. Greatness is measured by the amount of God's presence we allow to rule and reign in our lives. At the beginning of his reign, Solomon sought God, God's direction, God's wisdom in everything he did, and God made him great for it. It had nothing to do with Solomon, it had everything to do with God receiving glory from Solomon's life. Sometimes we can get our eyes off the main goal while we strive to accomplish other important goals. Growing the church, evangelism, missions, discipleship, these are all great things, but if we seek to do them in our own strength or understanding we don't allow God to do the work. It's not enough to seek to do great things, we must allow God to do them through us. God seeks to glorify His name, and He chooses to use us to accomplish that purpose. When we get in His way, no matter the reason, we rob Him of that glory, and God is very jealous of the glory of His name. If you don't believe me, just read what He said to the Israelites about it in Ezekiel 36.

2. Before the challenge or test arrives, God already knows what He is going to do. Our job is to act in faith, trust His leading, and follow where He tells us to go. John 6 contains the story of the feeding of the 5k. Jesus asks Philip what they should do about feeding the people. Not because he thought Philip would have an answer or could figure it out on his own, rather because He knew the task was too great for him to accomplish and already knew how He was going to answer. It was a chance for God to do something miraculous in a way that would bring glory to His name, and I think He was giving his disciples the chance to show how much they trusted Jesus. Philip answered, although with some apparent speculation and misgiving, but Andrew stepped up to the place. True, he sounds a little doubtful, but the great thing is that he had an answer. Andrew's answer shows that he was aware of the problem, was looking for a solution, and while convinced that there was no possible way he could solve it with the meager resources available, he still approached Jesus with those resources-- and Jesus performed the miraculous with them. 2 things I saw from this. First, when we come to Jesus with even the smallest of resources desiring to do something great in His name, He will act in incalculable ways. Second, Jesus already knew the resources were there and what He would do with them. He was waiting to see if His followers would acknowledge that He was able to use those resources to accomplish great things. He does the same for us today. He knows the challenge or trial we face, and He knows what we have and are capable of doing, knowing full well that often times our resources are not enough to meet the challenge. He gives us the chance to demonstrate our faith and trust in Him and His provision and action in our lives and our circumstances. He gives us the chance to grow in our faith and our relationship with Him. How much does our God love us?!

Before I ever left Pensacola, God knew exactly what it was that He was going to do in my life as I faced circumstances that to me seemed insurmountable. In His love for me, He has given me the ongoing chance to grow closer to Him, to grow stronger in my faith, and for me to see Him do things in me and through me that I would not have had the chance to see otherwise. That's why, in the face of seeming uncertainty, I can say that I have peace in my heart and faith that God will do what it is that He desires. My only aim is to not get in His way as He works, and to move when He allows me to see where He is at work and where He desires me to be.

Where am I now? Still seeking God's direction and provision as far as a job is concerned, but happily and joyfully serving in an incredible work He is doing in a neighboring community while I am here. Should God choose to leave me here or send me elsewhere, I serve at the favor of the King of Kings. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Update on what's been happening and what's going on.

Well, no job yet but i have found a great church to be a part of for however long I'm in Winston. God has allowed me to plug in and get involved already, and I'm grateful for that. Sometimes we never know when we step out in faith what will happen, but I have to say, stepping out is the thing to do. Living in fear, in the what if's, or in the comfort of where we are rather than doing something crazy simply because God wants us to is no way to live at all. Uncertainty of the future isn't really uncertainty when our faith is in God and we surrender to whatever He desires. I have no doubt He will do something soon in my life, I just have to be patient and willing to move whenever He shows up. Until then, I'm going to work to take every opportunity I have to make a difference where I am and with all the people God brings across my path.

This may not have happened how I would have planned it, but if I would have planned it, well, I'd have gotten it wrong. It's too easy to think we can control what happens around us, to us, or even the people we go through it with. the reality is, though, we can't -- well, we can try, but it will only end badly. Much greater to admit our frailty, our fears, our "hang-ups" to God and let Him do whatever He wants to do to us, through us.

so, how am i doing? I'm doing great. would still love a job, but that's God's timing, not mine. He has opened doors for ministry, and I'm great with that. that's what i hope for each of you too.

be blessed.

Lesson from the mountain, part 2

Coming back I decided to backtrack and see everything heading from the opposite direction to see what, if anything I'd missed. Again, the day was gorgeous and I was stopping almost every time there was a scenic overview. I decided to try to take more pictures and so was playing around with the camera a lot more too. A couple of hours in, I began to notice that the sky in the west was getting cloudier -- dark, deep, full of rain clouds. Now, at this point I had to make a decision: continue the drive the way I was, with multiple stops, understanding that at some point I'd be driving the mountains with the top up and in the rain, or forgo the picture taking and try to get down the mountains before the rain got there. Don't know why, but I decided to run for it.

For a good stretch, the road kept me on the west side of the mountains, so I could see what was coming. The clouds were getting darker and uglier by the minute and I expected the downpour to begin at any moment. I thought for sure I was going to get wet. True, at one point it did sprinkle a little, but then the road went to the other side of the mountain. Suddenly, there were no clouds in site, the sky was clear and the sun was shining bright. I began to rethink my decision until I realized that to go to the other side was to face the rain. It occurred to me that I didn't have to outrun the rain any more, that there was even a good chance that the mountain would block the rain completely. That's when things began to hit me.

Where would I rather be, on the side where I can see the rain coming and prepare for it or on the other side, not knowing the rain is coming BUT also where the rain might never come? And, if it is going to rain, is it better to know the rain is coming or to enjoy the beautiful sky that much longer until the rain actually hits? After having the time to think about it, my answer would have to be that I would want to be able to enjoy the sun as long as possible. Knowing that there was rain headed in my direction caused me to change my course, created a certain amount of uncertainty, and caused me to begin to doubt the direction I was going. I didn't even realize the full impact until it occurred to me that the rain might not actually come my way at all -- I was reacting to something that looked bad that might but actually hadn't happened yet. And, as it turned out, it never did.

When we go through life, we travel the path that God sets out for us. We can face that path focused on the One Who created it for us, Who acts as our Guide, or we can spend our time looking on the other side of the mountain, where all the darkness is, and worry about what might be. God has called us to follow Him, regardless of what the weather may hold. And, to worry about what might be is to say that we don't trust God's plan or His path for our lives. When you're on the journey, enjoy the journey. Enjoy the One Who called you to that journey and enjoy all the blessings He has created along the way. Don't let doubt or uncertainty cloud your view. Keep your eyes on Jesus.