don't know what to title this. any ideas or suggestions?

don't you love those moments when you see something cool, then stop and go, "Wait, what?"It's been more than 2 months since I left Pensacola, and while things haven't worked out as I thought they would, I have to admit, I can't complain about where I am. Don't misunderstand. There've been moments when I questioned my sanity. I mean, who leaves their job with no idea of the future, especially in an economy like this, simply because they feel it's what God wants them to do? True, there were a lot of circumstances at play, but they all served to confirm that I needed to leave Pensacola, that I shouldn't stay there any longer. Now, I can't explain that. I was happy serving at my former church, I loved the people of the church and working with them was a constant blessing in my life. As God moved (sometimes in very odd ways) to show me that I could no longer stay in Pensacola if I were to find happiness in serving Him - since staying when I shouldn't would have caused me to stray from God's path for me -- I never thought that this far out I'd still be unemployed, still looking for a job. But that's where I am right now, and, as I said, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Why? Because I've lost my mind, because things were terrible in Pensacola and I needed to run away, because God just wanted to mess with me for no reason? NO! In leaving, I've found peace and joy and fulfillment I'd been missing in my life while I was struggling with following God's leading in my life. Here are a couple of lessons I've learned so far.

1. I have the desire in my heart for greatness, but greatness doesn't come from having the right job, doing the right programs, being in the right place at the right time, or from any of the things that the world would say we need to have to be successful. Greatness comes from God, from His presence in our lives. 2 Chron. 1 states that Solomon was a great and powerful king. Not because of his wisdom or wealth, but because God was with him and God made him great as he followed God. Greatness, success, or any other similar term have nothing to do with what we do or how well we do them. Greatness is measured by the amount of God's presence we allow to rule and reign in our lives. At the beginning of his reign, Solomon sought God, God's direction, God's wisdom in everything he did, and God made him great for it. It had nothing to do with Solomon, it had everything to do with God receiving glory from Solomon's life. Sometimes we can get our eyes off the main goal while we strive to accomplish other important goals. Growing the church, evangelism, missions, discipleship, these are all great things, but if we seek to do them in our own strength or understanding we don't allow God to do the work. It's not enough to seek to do great things, we must allow God to do them through us. God seeks to glorify His name, and He chooses to use us to accomplish that purpose. When we get in His way, no matter the reason, we rob Him of that glory, and God is very jealous of the glory of His name. If you don't believe me, just read what He said to the Israelites about it in Ezekiel 36.

2. Before the challenge or test arrives, God already knows what He is going to do. Our job is to act in faith, trust His leading, and follow where He tells us to go. John 6 contains the story of the feeding of the 5k. Jesus asks Philip what they should do about feeding the people. Not because he thought Philip would have an answer or could figure it out on his own, rather because He knew the task was too great for him to accomplish and already knew how He was going to answer. It was a chance for God to do something miraculous in a way that would bring glory to His name, and I think He was giving his disciples the chance to show how much they trusted Jesus. Philip answered, although with some apparent speculation and misgiving, but Andrew stepped up to the place. True, he sounds a little doubtful, but the great thing is that he had an answer. Andrew's answer shows that he was aware of the problem, was looking for a solution, and while convinced that there was no possible way he could solve it with the meager resources available, he still approached Jesus with those resources-- and Jesus performed the miraculous with them. 2 things I saw from this. First, when we come to Jesus with even the smallest of resources desiring to do something great in His name, He will act in incalculable ways. Second, Jesus already knew the resources were there and what He would do with them. He was waiting to see if His followers would acknowledge that He was able to use those resources to accomplish great things. He does the same for us today. He knows the challenge or trial we face, and He knows what we have and are capable of doing, knowing full well that often times our resources are not enough to meet the challenge. He gives us the chance to demonstrate our faith and trust in Him and His provision and action in our lives and our circumstances. He gives us the chance to grow in our faith and our relationship with Him. How much does our God love us?!

Before I ever left Pensacola, God knew exactly what it was that He was going to do in my life as I faced circumstances that to me seemed insurmountable. In His love for me, He has given me the ongoing chance to grow closer to Him, to grow stronger in my faith, and for me to see Him do things in me and through me that I would not have had the chance to see otherwise. That's why, in the face of seeming uncertainty, I can say that I have peace in my heart and faith that God will do what it is that He desires. My only aim is to not get in His way as He works, and to move when He allows me to see where He is at work and where He desires me to be.

Where am I now? Still seeking God's direction and provision as far as a job is concerned, but happily and joyfully serving in an incredible work He is doing in a neighboring community while I am here. Should God choose to leave me here or send me elsewhere, I serve at the favor of the King of Kings. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Update on what's been happening and what's going on.

Well, no job yet but i have found a great church to be a part of for however long I'm in Winston. God has allowed me to plug in and get involved already, and I'm grateful for that. Sometimes we never know when we step out in faith what will happen, but I have to say, stepping out is the thing to do. Living in fear, in the what if's, or in the comfort of where we are rather than doing something crazy simply because God wants us to is no way to live at all. Uncertainty of the future isn't really uncertainty when our faith is in God and we surrender to whatever He desires. I have no doubt He will do something soon in my life, I just have to be patient and willing to move whenever He shows up. Until then, I'm going to work to take every opportunity I have to make a difference where I am and with all the people God brings across my path.

This may not have happened how I would have planned it, but if I would have planned it, well, I'd have gotten it wrong. It's too easy to think we can control what happens around us, to us, or even the people we go through it with. the reality is, though, we can't -- well, we can try, but it will only end badly. Much greater to admit our frailty, our fears, our "hang-ups" to God and let Him do whatever He wants to do to us, through us.

so, how am i doing? I'm doing great. would still love a job, but that's God's timing, not mine. He has opened doors for ministry, and I'm great with that. that's what i hope for each of you too.

be blessed.

Lesson from the mountain, part 2

Coming back I decided to backtrack and see everything heading from the opposite direction to see what, if anything I'd missed. Again, the day was gorgeous and I was stopping almost every time there was a scenic overview. I decided to try to take more pictures and so was playing around with the camera a lot more too. A couple of hours in, I began to notice that the sky in the west was getting cloudier -- dark, deep, full of rain clouds. Now, at this point I had to make a decision: continue the drive the way I was, with multiple stops, understanding that at some point I'd be driving the mountains with the top up and in the rain, or forgo the picture taking and try to get down the mountains before the rain got there. Don't know why, but I decided to run for it.

For a good stretch, the road kept me on the west side of the mountains, so I could see what was coming. The clouds were getting darker and uglier by the minute and I expected the downpour to begin at any moment. I thought for sure I was going to get wet. True, at one point it did sprinkle a little, but then the road went to the other side of the mountain. Suddenly, there were no clouds in site, the sky was clear and the sun was shining bright. I began to rethink my decision until I realized that to go to the other side was to face the rain. It occurred to me that I didn't have to outrun the rain any more, that there was even a good chance that the mountain would block the rain completely. That's when things began to hit me.

Where would I rather be, on the side where I can see the rain coming and prepare for it or on the other side, not knowing the rain is coming BUT also where the rain might never come? And, if it is going to rain, is it better to know the rain is coming or to enjoy the beautiful sky that much longer until the rain actually hits? After having the time to think about it, my answer would have to be that I would want to be able to enjoy the sun as long as possible. Knowing that there was rain headed in my direction caused me to change my course, created a certain amount of uncertainty, and caused me to begin to doubt the direction I was going. I didn't even realize the full impact until it occurred to me that the rain might not actually come my way at all -- I was reacting to something that looked bad that might but actually hadn't happened yet. And, as it turned out, it never did.

When we go through life, we travel the path that God sets out for us. We can face that path focused on the One Who created it for us, Who acts as our Guide, or we can spend our time looking on the other side of the mountain, where all the darkness is, and worry about what might be. God has called us to follow Him, regardless of what the weather may hold. And, to worry about what might be is to say that we don't trust God's plan or His path for our lives. When you're on the journey, enjoy the journey. Enjoy the One Who called you to that journey and enjoy all the blessings He has created along the way. Don't let doubt or uncertainty cloud your view. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Lesson from the mountain top

Last weekend I had the opportunity to drive a section of the Blue Ridge Parkway through the Smokie Mountains. I left on a Friday with no real idea of where I was headed except for the Parkway. I wanted to put the top down on the car and drive, surrounded by the beauty of Creation. I had this idea to get to a certain spot by nightfall, but that wasn't in stone. I truly wanted to get away by myself and have time to worship in the splendor of God's beautiful handiwork while having conversations with Him. I got a lot more than I expected.

First, the weather that afternoon was gorgeous. I hit the road and stopped at Pilot Mountain. For those who don't know, it's this mountain pretty much by itself surrounded by flat stretches of land before you hit the Smokies or the Parkway. I decided to drive to the top and climb to the highest observation point to see the surrounding areas. (I say climb, but really, they have the trail set up pretty well.) It became apparent quickly that you wouldn't be able to see as far as usual due to a haze in the distance, but the view from the top was still incredible. It's amazing how you can feel on top of the world and so small at the same time. I snapped some pics, then decided that if I was going to make it I'd better leave. I stopped for lunch in Mt. Airy, then headed to the Parkway.

As I mentioned before, I was stopping at almost every scenic overview. The views were amazing, some even breath-taking. In spite of the beauty, something was missing, didn't quite feel right. During my conversations with God, asking about what He had next for me in my life and my ministry, things felt out of place. Finally, at one overlook, it hit me. I was so focused on where I thought I was going while I was driving that I was missing much of the beauty that surrounded me. And then it hit me. I was doing the same in my life. I was so focused on where I thought I was supposed to be that I was missing some of the blessings that were happening all around me. I needed to stop focusing on the destination and pay more attention to what was around me at that moment. Praying for forgiveness and determining to focus more on where I was at that moment rather than on where I thought I was supposed to be, I decided to take that same advice in my trip and find someplace closer, someplace that would allow me to spend more time where I was and enjoy the drive more. At that moment, an older couple pulled up next to me and got out to take in the view. They asked me to take their picture and handed me their camera. After the shot, I spoke with the wife while her husband took more pictures. I figured they were there for a reason and decided that I wanted to talk about Jesus with them somehow. Through the course of the conversation, I found out that they too were followers of Jesus and we talked about how majestic His creation was. She asked me about what was going on in my life, we talked a little about church and music, then she called her husband over and they prayed for me. We spoke briefly after that, then they got in their car and drove the opposite direction I was going. It was an incredible blessing, and I realized that they never told me their names. God used them to reiterate to me His love and guidance, and I have no idea who they are. Just two people who love Jesus being used by Jesus to help encourage a fellow follower of Jesus seeking to live like Jesus.

You just never know what you might miss when you don't take the time to enjoy and/or embrace the place God has you right now.

So i'm reading this book...

It's called Secondhand Jesus, trading rumors of God for firsthand faith (by Glenn Packiam). I'll post a full synopsis when I'm done but thought I'd start the topic while I'm sitting here in jury duty. The premise is this -- how much of what we say we believe actually comes from what we know of God from Scripture and from our experience of Him in light of Scripture versus what we believe based on what we've been told by someone else. Have we sat in our chairs (or pews) and simply accepted whatever we heard as total truth and molded our lives after that, or do we get messy and dig deep in our personal relationship with God and know Him, really know Him? If we simply take what other people say, we very easily can begin to believe rumors, falsehoods that sound good and get repeated over and over until we accept them as fact, without even realizing that we don't really know what we've been saying. And here's the scary part. Until we have that moment or event that shakes us to our core and causes us to reexamine why we believe what we believe, we don't know what we don't actually know. We just keep moving forward until that moment when everything gets shaken up and we take a closer look, rather, we allow the Light of God to search out our hearts and expose those things we hold on to.

Now, don't misinterpret the aim of this blog. I'm not saying I've been sitting under false or erroneous teaching. What I'm driving at is the challenge for us to not just believe everything a preacher or evangelist or professor or even our best friend has told us about God but to dig deeper, to get our hands dirty, to do the work to know God for ourselves, not just take somebody else's word for Him. It means getting uncomfortable with ourselves and opening ourselves up to examination, allowing God to reach in and change our way of thinking. But, and here's why I feel it's important, I can't be comfortable in my relationship with God any more. For the fire to remain kindled forward momentum must be maintained, and simply sitting passively by and trying to live vicariously through the words and actions of others just doesn't cut it any more.

Know why you believe what you believe -- and because someone told you so doesn't cut it. Question what you hear based on Scripture, not on what you or some talking head thinks. Know God. Really know Him. It takes hard work. It will get messy. But it's so worth it.

(I apologize for any typos. Using the Blackberry to type this.)

Worship, Lying, Gain and Sacrifice

I read a quote this morning I wanted to pass on to you. Ergun Caner, head of the dept. of Theology at Liberty University twittered a rough quote from Tozer: Christians do not tell lies, they go to church and sing them. I’m afraid that’s true more than it’s not. I’d read another statement that said that often Christians worship for what they will get in return more than for what they can give in worship. Living a life of worship is synonymous to living a life that cultivates influence – they require sacrifice. If we sacrifice for the purpose of gain, then where’s the real sacrifice? Sacrifice motivated by gain isn’t truly sacrifice, it’s self-serving. If God never spoke into our lives, if He never sent blessings, wisdom or guidance He’d still be worthy of our sacrificing ourselves on the altar as living sacrifices. Yes, we desire to come into His presence, to experience all that He has to offer us as we lift up praise and worship to Him, but if we aren’t willingly sacrificing ourselves for Him simply because He is worthy, we’re missing the point. We worship, not for what we get, but because of what we give – ourselves, every part of us, fully and completely to the King Who redeemed us. We worship because He is worthy, because of His greatness, because of what He has done, because of Who He is. So, let’s not be liars in church when we sing. Let’s give God every part of us now, simply because He is worthy. Leave getting anything in return up to Him.

When we come to worship, be wholly involved in all that goes on when we come to God. Embrace everything that He is and all that He offers, and don’t just go looking for what you think you need. Don’t just dip in your toe into the ocean of worship, dive in. Become an active participant, not just a spectator. Ask yourself the question: Is my worship self-centered or God-centered? If we worship for us, then God gets nothing out of it. If he gets nothing, what can you expect to get out of it besides a temporary emotional high? If you’re looking for worship that lasts, then give everything to it, hold nothing back, make it all about God. Remove yourself as the focus and train your focus fully on God. We get from God in proportion to what we give in our worship. David Jeremiah puts it this way: we can only “take away the sum equivalent of what we bring.” In other words, only offer up partial worship, expect to only receive partial blessing. We should seek to give it all, every part, to worship in both spirit and truth.

If you’re like me, giving every part can be a struggle. It’s easy to hold on to things in life and not want to let go. But, if we’re going to be able to truly worship in spirit and in truth, we must. We must release every part or be willing to ask God to take control of that area from us. Yes, it can mean pain. But pain is temporary. True worship is eternal. Won’t I feel like I’m not in control? Yes, and that’s what you want. We shouldn’t be in control of anything. God should be in control of everything. The challenge is to live your life so that even the small things fall under God’s control, not yours. Are we up for it?

The Events of a Thursday night, recent and far.

Tonight we did something a little different. Usually in the middle of rehearsal we stop for a short time of devotion/study. Recently, while researching something else, I came across information about the Passion Week, which got me thinking. What was it like for Jesus during His last week prior to His crucifixion? I looked at the triumphant entry into Jerusalem celebrated on Palm Sunday up to the crucifixion, which led us to celebrate the cross during church last Sunday. Then, I focused on Thursday. What got me thinking was that we were having our final Easter rehearsal on the day traditionally viewed as the night of the last supper. Rather than the usual time of teaching, something needed to be different.

After we finished the rehearsal, rather simply teaching, we sat everyone in two rows of chairs, facing each other. Starting with the first person on each row, we symbolically washed each other’s feet, telling them we loved them with the love of the Lord. Now, some people might think this silly or not take it seriously, but the imagery was incredible. Acknowledging our love for each other in Christ, our willingness to serve each other and put each other ahead of ourselves, it drove home in my heart the way Christ did that for us, not only in washing His disciples’ feet, but in the ultimate act of placing others ahead of Himself when He died on the cross. It was a gesture not just of servanthood and humility, but of the sacrifice Christ was about to make for all of us.

When we were done, we took a loaf of bread, and, in following Scripture, broke it, blessed it, and passed it to each other, each person tearing off a piece of the loaf to eat in remembrance of Jesus’ body being broken for us. I wish I could paint you a picture of what that looked like. First, breaking the loaf apart – Jesus’ body was broken for us. Then, the tearing off of pieces – I could see the whips tearing into Jesus’ back and body, shredding the skin, the agony He suffered for us. As people ate the piece of bread they tore off it struck me how Christ’s body was consumed in the payment for my sin. (As we celebrate Easter we must always remember that Resurrection Sunday always follows Crucifixion Day.)

Next in the story Jesus passed the cup, after He blessed it, stating that it was His blood poured out in a new covenant. While we didn’t want to pass one cup around for all to drink out of, we gave everyone a small cup. I held in my hands a bottle of grape juice, red liquid, and as we prayed I couldn’t help but think of the fact that we were about to pour out the juice just as Christ’s blood was poured out for us. It was hard to speak for a moment as that thought overwhelmed me. Then, to see each person pouring out the juice into their cups, realizing that Jesus had poured out His blood for each one of them, it was almost as it I could see His blood being applied to each life.

It was a reminder of how costly our salvation really is. God came to earth and died for us. It isn’t something that we can ever take lightly, but a very serious charge given to us to live up to. And, just as we passed the bread and the juice, so to must we take this incredible gift of grace and share it with all around us. We can’t keep it to ourselves. We must all be lights shining the truth of the hope of the gospel to everyone we meet, sharing with them the love and grace that God has so freely given to us. Amazing what washing feet and passing around bread and juice can show a person.

Carry with you the image of Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. Ponder it as you think of the crucifixion. Allow your heart to overflow with rejoicing when realizing that Jesus didn’t stay in the tomb but rose again and is alive today, sitting at God’s right hand, speaking for us. Allow God to reveal more of what He’s done for you to your heart as you live out a life worthy of the sacrifice made to set you free. Then, when we get together on Sunday morning to celebrate, we truly do celebrate the greatness of our God with hearts overflowing in worship and adoration of Him.

Malachi 1:14

God calls someone "Hypocrite!" You know you have to done something bad to be called hypocrite by God. In a message dealing with what we offer in worship, God brings this pronouncement. "There will be harsh condemnation for the hypocrite who has a valuable male animal in his flock but vows and sacrifices something inferior to the Lord." (NET) In other words, God calls someone a hypocrite (and promises condemnation) when they come to Him with an offering of worship that is blemished and imperfect when they hold back something much more valuable. God demands our best in worship, and when we come to Him acting like we're something greater than we really are, when what we bring isn't the best we have to offer, rather is something we almost throw together at the last minute, we offend Him greatly. It's a scary thing to offend God, the Creator of the universe and the only All-Powerful Being. Tick Him off and look out.

Just look at what He's said to Israel and her worship leaders (priests) so far in the message He gave through Malachi. "You've strayed so far you can't even see how much I love you and how evident My love for you really is." (v. 2-5) "You have dishonored Me and made light of My name, and you can't even see what you've done. You think you're still all right with Me and don't realize how displeased I am with you." (v. 6-9) "You've profaned My Temple by considering My table as common, something you just do every week because it's required. You even turn your nose up at it and consider it tiresome." (v. 12-13) Pretty harsh words to the people who considered themselves the children of God. In verse 10 God wishes someone would close and bar the door to the Temple rather than have to put up with the false and fake worship the people were offering. Wow. The God of the universe Who desires that all men worship Him would rather close the place of worship than face another day of dishonest worship. No wonder He pronounces judgment on those who don't offer their best to Him.

So, how does that apply to us today, to those of us who call ourselves the children of God? Was this just a warning message to the Israelites over 2,400 years ago, or does this message carry warnings for us today? Well, let's ask the question. If God Who never changes can't stand dishonest worship from the Israelites, do you think He would appreciate or accept less than honest worship from us today? If the blemished offerings gives back then upset Him so greatly, how do you think He feels about our less-than-our-best offerings we may offer today? Somehow, I rather suspect that He probably doesn't care for them too much either (said tongue-in-cheek). Of course, He would feel the same strong emotions about what we do today as He did toward what the Israelites offered then.

What, then, do we need to take away from this message of warning? God sees our hearts. He knows if what we bring to Him, both in church and in our personal worship times on our own, is really our best, from our hearts, completely honest before Him or if we're simply going through the motions, just bringing whatever we feel like at the moment, even trying to fake what we do so others around us think better of us. God desires honest worship, worship from our hearts offered both in spirit and in truth, that comes from deep within us, from the core of who we are. And we're not just talking about worship as we think of it happening in church on Sunday. God's looking at our motivation behind everything we do. You see, the Israelites had to go to the Temple for their official acts of worship, since the Temple was seen as the dwelling place of God. We, on the other hand, who have been indwelled by the Holy Spirit, live every moment of our lives in the presence of God since we have been called His temples. If God focused on the offerings being brought to the Temple in Jerusalem, how much more does He look at everything we do as an act of offering, since everything we do is in His presence?

If we are His temple, then what kind of offerings are we bringing on a daily basis? Are we giving God our best, or are we doing the bare minimums, if that? Do we put on airs when around others so they think us better or closer to God than we are then revert to our "normal" selves when we think no one is around? And, what is our motivation for what we do? Is it God-centered or self-centered? I know we'll not live perfect lives while on earth, but we can live God-centered lives. Do we live saying the right things and being in the right places at the right times and have lost the real meaning of why we do those things, or do we live each day seeking to have a fresh encounter with the God Who redeemed us? Do we live doing whatever we want, or do we live to do what God desires us to do -- to live lives of worship, giving praise and glory to Him, sharing Him with the world around us, seeking to not only draw closer to Him ourselves, but to seek out and help others to become fully devoted followers of Jesus as well? That's the life God desires us to live, and to do anything less is to become guilty of the same sins the Israelites were guilty of 2,400 years ago, sins that offended the God of heaven and brought promises of condemnation and the title of hypocrite placed on them.

I don't know about you, but I have no desire to have the God of the Universe call me a hypocrite. Wait until you read the next few verses in chapter 2. If you thought this was harsh, the next few verses should have you quaking in your boots.

Offer true, authentic acts of worship to God today, tomorrow, and every day of your life. If condemnation is given to hypocrites, just imagine how much more the blessing and grace given for authentic worship.

Be blessed, and remember: Pray for the people in your wallet today.